Global Warming, the Movie - Cycle III

Global Warming, the Movie - Cycle III

Ganga Prasad G. Rao
http://myprofile.cos.com/gangar


Ever wondered why no Indian actor or actress ever made it to a James Bond movie? Or, for that matter, an Indian fiction author? Because there is no 'story', no 'plot', no 'real-life conspiracy' to base it on. Get it? So, as a favor to my more illustrious colleagues in the film industry, here is my outline for a 'James Bond' movie. I have named it 'Global Warming, the Movie - Cycle III' (No apologies to Al Gore!). You may want to rename it 'Mother of All Conspiracies'.

Once, there were a group of politicians who, for various reasons not related to character, intelligence, performance, principles (too much of it, of course), fell out of grace and power. Not finding any takers, they decided to get together. In trying to accommodate each other's past, they committed to certain wrongs in the future, so no one among them get away leaving the rest behind. They built up a constituency of the denied – environmentalists ignored and derided by the society, social activists no one cared to lend an ear to, scientists denied their due recognition, union workers suppressed by capitalists and incorrect economic policies, and of course, the poor ignorant farmers believing in the word of God. This motley group now needed someone who could feed their constituency while they staked claim to power. Enter the master strategist (He prefers anonymity). Why not we play a game no one would even dare to conceive?

Behold the birth of the contra strategy! We know businesses using dirty fuels will face increasing pressures to move in to much costlier, cleaner fuel to combat global warming. We know oil and coal-rich countries are loathe to accept global warming. We know our country has vast resources of thorium and our nuclear scientists have succeeded with the thorium cycle (It's not their fault that it happens to be closed-cycle and very low cost, in short 'pareto superior' over existing power technologies). Wouldn't it be ever so stupidly suicidal to introduce new generation nuclear power that is cheaper by the dozen than fossil fuels, global warming notwithstanding? Why not hold it back when there is a more than a nominal 'willingness to pay' to suppress it? Better yet, sell the technology to fossil fuel energy tycoons, oil-rich countries and MNCs of the west for a not inconsiderable sum? ..... And so was born the plan to hoodwink the nation in to selling away its home-grown, thorium-exploiting nuclear technology even while claiming to obtain 'advanced' nuclear technology under a 'nuclear deal' with the US or a 'technology transfer' agreement under the framework of the FCCC (we get carbon credits for 'free'!).

Now all that is needed is a 'fall guy' for the entire drama – a 'judge' for namesake, in reality a sacrificial lamb on whom to build the altar of colossal treachery. Someone with a brilliant academic record and meteoric future, someone who fits the bill perfectly and not because he is brown, thin, short and reticent. But first, he must be framed suitably in every crime known to humanity and beyond, and then bundled off to the US for higher studies. The plot is on. The student meanders through his assistantship and eventually finds a summer internship in the corporate world. No points for guessing who his employer is! Wonder of wonders, he makes an impression and passes their test! (Never heard of the 'key', have you?) Shall we anoint him a regulatory, a judge or assign a political future? No, No, most definitely No. First have him fired as a spy and treat him like a criminal on return. Threaten him with arrest, volunteer him every time a 'hit key' comes along (remember he has passed as a 'judge') and deny him repeatedly until he retreats in to a shell to protect his nest egg and his family.

Now the stage is set. Negotiate a secret deal with coal and oil MNCs and oil/coal rich countries that protects their resources and markets by suppressing advanced nuclear power technology. Sell the home-grown closed-cycle thorium power nuclear technology or fusion technology to the CIA-MNC-OPEC combine in a brazen example of 'reverse technology transfer'. (Yeah, something like $10 billion a year in to our stock markets - most of it in to domestic energy companies whose executives fund our campaigns and in which we are well invested - for the next 30 years regardless of who is in power....yeah, they too are 'in' the deal. Also.... that private equity fund.... we will manage it for the goodwill of our environmentalists, scientists and union leaders.... and if at all necessary, an endowed chair for that asshole!). Act holy and green; fund programs furthering energy efficiency and nuclear power. Talk of carbon credits, even subsidize energy-efficient CFL lighting (never mind the power was generated from lignite!) Covertly, invest in uranium commodity markets and have the purveyors of yesterday's technology fund space vehicles ostensibly for lunar exploration for uranium (and when the mission finds no uranium, we may laugh our way to the bank). Wonder of wonders, the strategy even finds favor with Australians who would rather generate power at 2 cents a KWH with their low grade coal deposits!

But what about our getaway? Ahh, that's where we need our judge, No, the spy, I mean the criminal. He too must pay for the wrongs he didn't commit! He serves jail time for 30 years for the sum of our wrongs while we move our kitty away (I am settling in Christmas Islands. How about you?). It also gives sufficient time for the fossil fuel industry to invest in and takeover the next generation energy industry. To cap it all and at the end of the term, we backstab the political right by signing in to a global warming treaty, and have the co-conspirators on the other side either announce the invention of a closed-cycle thorium nuclear power technology or release evidence of the suppression of the superior nuclear technology. That should put the right in to a tizzy as we sail in to the sunset.....

Epilogue: All movie-goers had a gala time and returned home to peaceful sleep. The Cycle IV sequel? The Master Strategist is already working on it.