Insurance Humor, Huh?

Insurance Humor, Huh?

Ganga Prasad G. Rao
http://myprofile.cos.com/gangar


It's been long since I wrote a humor column. Guess times have not been easy. So what makes me write one today? Did I chance upon a winning lottery ticket? Did someone claim Indian roads to be safe or clean? Did I hear a politician make a promise at an election rally? Or, did someone claim India was a democracy? Thankfully no! What got me thinking on the lighter side is the racket called 'insurance'.

In the US, medical insurance coverage jostle for the top slot with the Iraq invasion in voters minds. Insurance used to be the prudent part of one's savings that went toward ensuring financial stability in times of unexpected medical burden. But what it has turned out in to is a monstrous bureaucratic quagmire that squeezes every penny of earnings beyond breakfast money so lawyers may enrich themselves fighting off medical malpractice cases foisted by Las Vegas vacation returnees. So the choice before the familyman with modest means is either pay up and live in a shack, or join the millions who forego insurance, leaving themselves at the mercy of the state and the hospital should anything wrong befall them.

We in India, and I presume in other third-world nations as well, feel no such pressure. Life runs its course inspite of all the shortcomings of our various systems. To live thru a day and return home from work is a miracle in itself. Ask any Delhiite who walks as the Blue Line screams by, the Mumbaikar hanging precariously to the door of the suburban train rushing through tunnels, or the Chennai college student grabbing a window bar on the bus and hanging on for dear life till the next traffic signal. Why even I feel thankful to be alive everytime I drink a cola! In these days of insurance-administered 'statistics', who knows where one is a 'number'. You did not disclose all your health problems? Well, then you are a 'number' on the road today! Didn't pay a disputed broadband bill? God help you when you cross the street! (unless of course, you have an engagement of the nefarious or immoral kind). Then there are those communal, religious and national duties to discharge that sometimes involve showing up in mass protests or in locations where certain risks have been 'assigned' (They need 2 bodies from union workers to sanction the wage accord, so you better show up!). With all these risks to boast of, would anyone worry at all about insuring himself? If the chances of dying in the next twelve months are higher on the streets than in a hospital bed, would anyone care to buy medical insurance? Or, undergo costly medical procedures for chronic diseases? Why I predict a dramatic fall in the price of plastic surgery in terrorist infested towns! Ain't it amazing how the priority for medical insurance fizzles away by manipulating man-made risks?

Now that should give US policymakers a pause! Wanna go the Indian way? (We even have a software that assigns numbers 'randomly'. It was commissioned by...nevermind the details)!!!!!!!