Election Planks, Sickles, Cycles and Cows

Election Planks, Sickles, Cycles and Cows

Ganga Prasad G. Rao
http://myprofile.cos.com/gangar


For those of you who follow Krugman, his gingerly entry in to electoral politics would not have gone unnoticed. I have no such fears of writing on the matter, much as a career politician would feel no qualms about opining on abstruse policy matters involving specialized knowledge of disciplines. So, having graduated in Mineral Economics, I step in, albeit gingerly, in to 'Political Yellow Journalism'!

When I joined school, Gandhi was still a household name, what with the memory of the freedom struggle still fresh in the minds of parents. With the passage of time, the freedom struggle has largely receded from politics, but for its 'heritage value' during campaigning. The Gandhis, the Nehrus and the Kamarajs now merely adorn the party banners. Following their ideals would be harakiri!. But that is symptomatic of a larger problem – that of election issues, promises and manifestos. These used to be the channels through which parties and candidates perceived issues of interest among the electorate, learnt of their needs and priorities and through which they communicated their agenda to the masses. No longer; now, they merely serve as instruments to gain familiarity with voters and communicate positions and deals on various issues.

As I perceive it, there are three levels at which pre-election deals/promises are made – privately with wealthy bigwigs from the industry, and sometimes, international organizations, publicly through newspapers and media with the middle-class and the intelligentia, and separately with the poor masses through local community leaders or mafia bosses. But it is the votes of the masses that counts on the D-day, and that means wooing the poor and the middle classes. It may be that many of the married poor have already been bought out by rival parties who sponsor their ration card or employment, their freedom from the hands of law or the land on which they live. Those not in this 'net' are bought out by promised a certain amount of 'music' broadcast by loudspeakers attached to autorickshaws sporting the candidate and his/her party logo. The youth among the poor are likely already rounded up by our local activists. That leaves the educated middle-class who are too smart to profess unending loyalty and yet gullible enough to buy a straight-faced lie. What combination of election promises will appease them? First the retired – an important constituency, who, bitten by the patriotic bug, cast their votes without fail (they even show up at the booth before voting begins!). Perhaps they will identify with historical leaders of repute and character. In any case, the promise of a 10% rate on their provident fund ought to placate them; never mind the deficit. Now for the working class. Hmm, what do we here? A 111th pay commission to look in to their salary structure? That should keep them expecting a few years. What about women? (Damn, they won't follow their husbands. That would have cut costs in half!) Equal opportunity? No, that could be costly. Why not a quota or a reservation instead. 20% reservation for women in white collar jobs. How does that sound? .....Not bad! That leaves the yuppy youth on motorbikes drawing inflated salaries. You sure they'll be awake by the time voting winds up? Try a mid-day SMS alarm in to their mobiles on voting day. Follow it up with an invitation to a post-election party at 5pm. That might do the trick. That does it.

Now that all bases are covered, (that should get us the 25% vote needed to win the ballot) it's time to move on and plan for the post-election. Time to plan strategy for cornering ministerial posts, plum boardroom assignments, stake out licenses and commissions of inquiry, .....

A politicians life is very demanding...... Indeed!